To My Grandfather

This thing called life is so strange. We often spend hours maybe even a lifetime trying to make sense of things that have happened to us. My life similar to anyone else’s has had some interesting turns which I appreciate because they all add up to make me the unique individual that I am today. My paternal grandfather has lived in Trinidad for as long as I have known yet still I have never seen the man. He and my grandmother divorced before I was born. I grew up not knowing either of my grandfathers and this was normal, I saw nothing wrong with it because it was what I knew. A few years ago I came to the realization that my mother also did not know who her father was. For some reason unknown to us my grandmother never divulged this information. It is not my place to question why my grandmother chose nondisclosure, that is her business. She was a strong, wise woman and I know that she would never act with malice or ill will. Therefore she would have done what she thought was best in the situation. My mother did some digging and discovered her father. So into our lives came this wonderful man who did not even know we existed. He accepted us with open arms and an open heart. Now I have a very cool Grandad (who reads my blog by the way). This has opened up a whole branch of my family tree. It is a new and exciting journey for us and we will cherish every moment of it because we definitely don’t have time for coulda shoulda woulda.

So Grandad today is your day. I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday!!! I wish you God’s richest blessings today and everyday and I hope you have a wonderful day.

Independent Women and the Role of Men

Recently a friend of mine suggested Independent Women and the Role of Men as a topic for me to write about. I jumped at it because I am really trying to stay out of the politics. Independent women, feminist and a host of other terms have been used over the years to describe the new breed of women. It doesn’t take much to realize that women are coming to the fore as the leaders of the world. Two recent examples are the first female President of Costa Rica and right here at home for the first time we have a woman in the running for Prime Minister. With these changing roles for women, it raises the question of how men fit in. Traditionally as women we have been taught that a man has to be the provider and protector, while we as women are supposed to nurture and support. However if we are providing for ourselves and paying for our own security systems in the homes that we bought for ourselves, what is the new and revised role of men? Are women still supposed to rely on men to provide and protect?

I think the answer is yes, after all that is what they have been trained to do. However, I do not think that a woman is supposed to sit around doing nothing while waiting on a man to do things especially if there is no man around. But if there is a man in your life, sit back and relax. Women have to find the unique balance and know when to let go and allow a man to be a man. It doesn’t matter how much money you make if a man feels that you do not need him in your life he will just cease to be a part of it. Essentially while it is good to be independent and strong and all that good stuff, it is just as important to allow your companion to be a man. Let him do what he was socialized to do. Even if you make more money than him don’t belittle him and definitely don’t remind him of that fact constantly. He already knows this. Steve Harvey dedicated an entire chapter in his book Act like a Lady Think like a Man to Strong Independent Lonely Women. Essentially he believes that if a woman persists in being the Strong Independent Woman giving off the illusion that she has no need for a man then she is going to be lonely.

What do you think about the role of men in the lives of Independent Women? Do you agree that a woman should allow a man to maintain his traditional role as provider and protector even if she can handle things on her own?

Too Much Election Drama

These days I just feel saturated. I feel like there is too much of everything going on. There is too much bacchanal. Politicians are fighting and obviously they are forgetting that they are supposed to be role models for the youth of our country. This is the worst set of name calling in an election that I can remember. I really don’t know what is going on with these people. The funny thing is that at the end of all this nonsense all of these politicians will be laughing having a time in their little rum shop to which the rest of us cannot afford to gain entry. This election is becoming a big joke and I would really like to know at what stage the running of a nation became a laughing matter. While I strongly support one party, I will admit that is both sides indulge in the stupidness. Issues are being pushed aside to discuss things such as Marlene Mc Donald’s weight and Nicole Dyer winning Mastana Bahar. I am well aware that picong is part of our Trini culture, I think things are getting a bit out of hand. I wish elections were this coming Monday so we could get this Election over and done with. I anxiously await election results so that the country can continue with its regular day to day activities with the winning party at the helm leading the way.

How do you feel about the way the Election Campaign is going? Do you think the Politicians are taking the insults too far?

Happy Mothers' Day

Today is mothers' day, and I would like to take the opportunity to wish all mothers a Happy, Joyous and Blessed day today. In particular I want to give thanks to my mother for being the best Mummy in the world. I want to thank her for spoiling me rotten while somehow ensuring that I did not turn out to be a brat. I guess she could have done that because everything that she gave me was either a reward for an achievement or for general good behaviour. It was always clear in my mind that I was never entitled to any of the privileges she afforded me. I want to thank my mother for not allowing me to go to Water Colours when I fourteen (yeah obviously I was delusional to think I could have gone in the first place) but allowing me to part hard from sixteen (after CXC exams) onwards. Let me tell you that the parties were just as sweet I did not miss a damn thing. To think I was actually vex with her for not letting me go.

I want to thank my mother for getting me a job during the August holidays while I was awaiting CXC results because more than ten years later many of the things I learned on that job are still with me today. To think I was vex when she got me the job because I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend at the time who by the way is not around and I barely remember. I also want to thank my mother for supporting me through all of my academic attempts failed or otherwise. Lord knows that I have tried to study almost everything under the sun and continuously she has always stuck by me with words of encouragement.

In retrospect I think that my mother honestly did the best that she could have done for me at any given time. As a child I may not have recognized what she was doing and therefore may not have always been appreciative of her efforts. However as an adult I can safely say that I am where and who I am today because of the strong role my mother played. For this I thank my mother and although I may not always show it I am truly grateful for my Mummy in my life. So Mummy today is your day, have a great one and I love you dearly.