My Master Cleanse Experience

I decided to to do the Master Cleanse for a number of reasons. First and foremost I gained a lot of weight recently. While most people seem to think I look fabulous with the extra pounds it is something that has really been bothering me for some time now. Additionally I found that my eating habits had taken a turn for the worst and I would just eat any and everything just for the sake of eating, not necessarily because I was hungry.

After doing a considerable amount of research I decided I would do the cleanse in July 2010. needless to say procrastination being the beast that it is I never started. Several times after that I set dates to start and just made excuses. Whether it was the wrong time for me to do it because of work or because I wanted to go to some random party. While all of this is going on I think I gained more weight and of course the numbers on the carnival countdown went from lots of months to two months. I never actually weighed my self but I could always feel myself and know that I was heavy.

Day One

The cleanse has something called the ease in which is supposed to prepare you for not eating solid food for 10 to 14 days. Again procrastination and lack of procrastination I did not do the ease in. Additionally on the morning I was due to start the cleanse I still did not have all of the items that I needed. However something happened when I got up that morning, I just felt determined to start. So I started I did not eat anything all day and sipped fresh squeezed orange juice. I did well all day until my friend who I was supposed to be doing the cleanse with suggested we have gyros for dinner and start the cleanse fresh the next day.

Day 2/New Day One

I woke up again determined to do the cleanse. I mixed the concoction of lemon juice (more like lime juice), cayenne pepper and organic maple syrup. The instant I drank it I knew I was in trouble. It occurred to me that I hate maple syrup. I don't know what I was thinking. Two things I don't like are maypole syrup and cinnamon. Anyways I opted to shot the concoction so that I would not taste the maple syrup. Then during the day I tried the salt water flush. Lord have mercy. I drank a litre of salt water. My belly is strange if I consume something that is not good my belly says what the hell is this shit get out and it comes right back up.

After that experience I started to think about why I was doing this thing. To lose weight obviously. Weight loss is something that I have achieved before and quite easily at that. So I cut out a lot of things from my diet. Things like the massive cup of coffee I drank every morning and the KFC I ate regularly. I lessen my portions and in general I ate less. I opted to have a salad or a soup for lunch and I never went hungry. Before I knew it, I was fitting into clothes that were previously too tight and people were telling me I lost weight. One person even told me I looking dry. I have no idea exactly how much weight I lost I estimate about fifteen pounds twenty at the most. Might I add that this is with very minimal exercise.

So if I keep this up and add some exercise I will have that hot smoking carnival body by next year. Slow and steady wins the race.

Have you ever done anything extreme to lose weight? What was your experience? Did it work?

Scorch DDI Review

Yesterday I went down the islands to Scorch DDI. It was only after a good few drinks I realized that DDI was down the islands. Anyway that was one of my signature blond moments, its a good thing my friends and family love me. I am in a hot mess, because I can memorize the licence plate numbers of all the cars on my street but can figure out what DDI means.

Anyway the last couple of times I went out I didn't really have much fun. It was just a sad affair, boring as ever. From Zen, to 51, to Nikki Manaj I just felt like i am too old to be out this late taking night dew for no good reason. Now to truly paint a picture of how great Scorch was I have to describe my usual party behaviour. Usually I go to a party to pose and look cute. Yes I admit it I am poser. I like to look cute. At the end of the party I look the same way I did when I walked in and lord knows I don't dance. Very stooch, my idea of dancing is putting my hand in the air and waving it slightly.

Scorch was just right up my ally. It was day time so I didn't have to take night dew. I could have worn what I wanted, as there was no stupid bouncer telling me that I must be in heels to gain entry, a la 51. The only issue was hottt sun, but I viewed it as preparation for Tribe 2011. Anyway so minding my own business I started to dance and I even buss a wine. Then it started to rain and I did not even run for cover, I stayed in the rain dancing. When I tell you the vibes was real nice. I wine low, high, round and round, I wine to techno and all. It was pure niceness. Now once of the reasons that I don't dance much is because somewhere along the way I loose the beat and go off a bit. But the thing is since everybody was having a good time I felt confident that nobody would notice my outta timin wine. Now one day later I feel like I was in some aerobic class my body is aching. I never knew that wining was a full body workout.

Oh and how can I forget the guys. When I tell you the fellas came out in their full glory and of course it was raining so shirts had to come off. I have a feeling that active gym membership was the condition for entry into this event. I got whip lash from gaping, the guys were just divine. When I tell you, white, brown, chi nee, tall, short, even the chubby guys were looking good.

Do tell. Did you go to Scorch DDI? How was it for you?

Are Men really Dogs?

Time and time again I have had conversations with women where we get together and bash men. Going through our experiences and agreeing with each other that men are horrible little creatures. However, I am really beginning to wonder if men are really dogs? Or is it that we as women allow men to treat us any which way they please? Honestly, can a man really do anything to us that we do not want him to do? How many times have we had dealings with a man who is no good, yet for some strange reason we ignore the signs and continue to allow this man deeper and deeper into our lives.

Recently I received a call from an individual that I have known for a number of years. We have always had a flirtatious thing going but nothing more than talk. We exchanged the new communication number of choice, blackberry pins. That should have been the first red flag. Anyways so a few weeks go by and we communicate via BBIM and everything is good. Minding my own business Mr. Man starts to tell me that he likes me and he wants to see me, telling me we could meet for breakfast or lunch. That was a first for me because those are both daytime activities and I was wondering why not dinner. Well a breakfast date for me is out of the question because I usually leave home at 8 to get to work for 8 if you catch my drift. By lunchtime I am usually swamped doing things so I usually don’t get to leave the office. We finally agreed that we would go out for drinks. After all of the talk he gave me he stood me up, which I have no problem with because I was home in comfort.

The thing that irritates me the most about this guy is that his excuse for not coming was that he was sleeping. The following day when I told him that I was not pleased he could not understand why I was upset. Apparently I was just supposed to be cool with being stood up. Subsequently, yes I continued speaking to him via BBIM no doubt, he told me he wanted to check me home. The concept of men “checking” me at home is a little pet peeve of mine for a number of reasons. Most often when men visit you at home they come empty handed. The woman then has to entertain the man by providing drinks and food. In other words it is a great way to freeload. Additionally, no one sees us together so it is a wonderful trick for womanizing men. Now nothing is wrong with staying in, but doing so in the beginning of the relationship is definitely not good because it sets a precedent.

Based on this scenario, are men really dogs? I honestly don’t think so. At this stage it is totally up to me whether or not I continue to interact with this man and what our level of interaction would be. If I continue to “date” him and then in a few months he is still up to these tricks I would have no one to blame but myself. In which case he wouldn’t be a dog, he would be a smart man and I would be a damn fool.

What do you think? Are men really dogs?

Rituals Coffee Passa Passa Style

Rituals coffee shop could have a thriving business with me alone buying from them. I usually don’t discriminate on which shop I go to because they are all supposed to be the same, even in Antigua. Anyway I have visited the shop on the western main road on two separate occasions and it was the worst service I have received in a long time from any business in the food service industry.

The first time I went in I was greeted by the sound of loud music blaring from one of our fabulous urban radio stations. My perception of rituals is a place to sip on your favourite cup of joe and relax. I guess I was wrong. If that was not bad enough there was a young lady dressed in casual street clothes behind the counter bending over and gyrating or dancing or whatever. Stupid me did not just leave immediately, instead I proceeded to go to the counter to place my order. The gyrating young lady simply steps to the side and continues her lewd movements in the corner in plain sight. The worker who is cashing and making the drinks unwillingly takes my order, all while singing the unedited version of the song playing on the radio. Remember Ms. Gyration still in the corner. So while the drinks are being prepared I take a seat. The radio station goes to commercial so Ms. Gyration comes out from behind the counter and plops herself on the couch and proceeds to have a discussion about where she is going later with the worker behind the counter. When I eventually collect my drinks I see another worker strolling from a room in the back looking like she just woke up and her pants are unzipped and her under pants showing. There were a couple of things wrong with the scenario. The first being I am yet to figure out whether or not Ms. Gyration was a worker, because she left right before me. Secondly why wasn’t Ms. Gyration wearing a hair net. Thirdly why was she dancing behind the counter, exciting as it may be Rituals Coffee Shop was not the most appropriate place for her to practice for her villa audition.

Stupid me again went back to the place. Yes I enjoy punishment. I walked in to the sound of a male worker shouting at a female worker (the same cashier from the last time) to come and do her job. He then proceeds to quarrel complaining that she is lazy and have him doing all the work. While this may have been a valid complaint I just was not interested in hearing it. He of course was not speaking to me, but he was annoying me all the same. Mind you Miss Lady’s response was that she is looking for an apartment and she has no time with that. After I paid for my drinks he tells me that she will fix me up and proceeds to sit and relax just like her. So I wait and she gets up at her leisure to prepare my drinks.
Of all the experiences I have had in Rituals that one was the worst. I am contemplating saving some money and reducing calories and not going there at all. But I love it so much. I know for sure I would not be going back to the one in St. James ever again. I think I have been scarred for life.