Time and time again I have had conversations with women where we get together and bash men. Going through our experiences and agreeing with each other that men are horrible little creatures. However, I am really beginning to wonder if men are really dogs? Or is it that we as women allow men to treat us any which way they please? Honestly, can a man really do anything to us that we do not want him to do? How many times have we had dealings with a man who is no good, yet for some strange reason we ignore the signs and continue to allow this man deeper and deeper into our lives.
Recently I received a call from an individual that I have known for a number of years. We have always had a flirtatious thing going but nothing more than talk. We exchanged the new communication number of choice, blackberry pins. That should have been the first red flag. Anyways so a few weeks go by and we communicate via BBIM and everything is good. Minding my own business Mr. Man starts to tell me that he likes me and he wants to see me, telling me we could meet for breakfast or lunch. That was a first for me because those are both daytime activities and I was wondering why not dinner. Well a breakfast date for me is out of the question because I usually leave home at 8 to get to work for 8 if you catch my drift. By lunchtime I am usually swamped doing things so I usually don’t get to leave the office. We finally agreed that we would go out for drinks. After all of the talk he gave me he stood me up, which I have no problem with because I was home in comfort.
The thing that irritates me the most about this guy is that his excuse for not coming was that he was sleeping. The following day when I told him that I was not pleased he could not understand why I was upset. Apparently I was just supposed to be cool with being stood up. Subsequently, yes I continued speaking to him via BBIM no doubt, he told me he wanted to check me home. The concept of men “checking” me at home is a little pet peeve of mine for a number of reasons. Most often when men visit you at home they come empty handed. The woman then has to entertain the man by providing drinks and food. In other words it is a great way to freeload. Additionally, no one sees us together so it is a wonderful trick for womanizing men. Now nothing is wrong with staying in, but doing so in the beginning of the relationship is definitely not good because it sets a precedent.
Based on this scenario, are men really dogs? I honestly don’t think so. At this stage it is totally up to me whether or not I continue to interact with this man and what our level of interaction would be. If I continue to “date” him and then in a few months he is still up to these tricks I would have no one to blame but myself. In which case he wouldn’t be a dog, he would be a smart man and I would be a damn fool.
What do you think? Are men really dogs?
Recently I received a call from an individual that I have known for a number of years. We have always had a flirtatious thing going but nothing more than talk. We exchanged the new communication number of choice, blackberry pins. That should have been the first red flag. Anyways so a few weeks go by and we communicate via BBIM and everything is good. Minding my own business Mr. Man starts to tell me that he likes me and he wants to see me, telling me we could meet for breakfast or lunch. That was a first for me because those are both daytime activities and I was wondering why not dinner. Well a breakfast date for me is out of the question because I usually leave home at 8 to get to work for 8 if you catch my drift. By lunchtime I am usually swamped doing things so I usually don’t get to leave the office. We finally agreed that we would go out for drinks. After all of the talk he gave me he stood me up, which I have no problem with because I was home in comfort.
The thing that irritates me the most about this guy is that his excuse for not coming was that he was sleeping. The following day when I told him that I was not pleased he could not understand why I was upset. Apparently I was just supposed to be cool with being stood up. Subsequently, yes I continued speaking to him via BBIM no doubt, he told me he wanted to check me home. The concept of men “checking” me at home is a little pet peeve of mine for a number of reasons. Most often when men visit you at home they come empty handed. The woman then has to entertain the man by providing drinks and food. In other words it is a great way to freeload. Additionally, no one sees us together so it is a wonderful trick for womanizing men. Now nothing is wrong with staying in, but doing so in the beginning of the relationship is definitely not good because it sets a precedent.
Based on this scenario, are men really dogs? I honestly don’t think so. At this stage it is totally up to me whether or not I continue to interact with this man and what our level of interaction would be. If I continue to “date” him and then in a few months he is still up to these tricks I would have no one to blame but myself. In which case he wouldn’t be a dog, he would be a smart man and I would be a damn fool.
What do you think? Are men really dogs?
lol..I always offer FREEDOM OF CHOICE to all my female friends.. and you'd be amazed at how much they appreciate that. I think I have more female friends than male now... by more than 10 to 1 ratio!!
ReplyDeleteMost of the men I've met so far are dogs. The last one was stringing me along in a farce of a relationship while he was getting engaged to someone else. The thing is he was very dishonest as he knew what my feelings were from the very beginning.
ReplyDeleteJumbie that is what makes you a good man, person and friend.
ReplyDeleteWell Anon, I am sorry to hear about your experience. As women we are often blatanly lied to. There are some real con artist out there
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is don't let that experience hamper you from loving again.
He's a dog because of the fact he's not willing to date or be romantic with you in public (breakfast and lunch are easily disguised to others as business meeting not romance).
ReplyDeleteYou can excuse him all you want and take responsibility, however in my eyes it doesnt change the fact he is still a dog.
He is only after getting some action and not after trying to have a relationship that requires time and effort. He thinks he's a playa.
Some people dont mind that scenario, doesnt change his MO tho or the fact he probably aspiring to be one of those dudes from a music video
I sorry ... I eh datin no man who communicatin wit me via BBM .... call my ass!!!
ReplyDelete... and I don't necessarily think that men are dogs ... cuz den we'd have tuh say dat women are bitches!! ....
Men will do what they are allowed tuh do! .... full stop!
Thank you Anon. I guess the way you broke it down he is a dog. It was obvious that something was a bit off with the guy. I am not vex with him though because it is always my choice.
ReplyDeleteWuzdescene you always make me laugh. I think I have to add no bbm to my list of do's and don'ts for guys. I totally agree with you that men would do what they are allowed to do.
ReplyDelete'Scene: this is why we get along!
ReplyDeleteTrinidad Lover:None who only communicates with me via BBM (which ah doh have BTW, so this is texting for me) is to be considered a 'DATE'. Said man is convo only, and not a potential anything!. To answer your question - not all men are dogs, there are some good ones out there still (Thank God!). From communicating with them, since they are in the minority, some of them think that only if they become playas will they ever find a woman...it is sometimes my duty to remind them that there are women out there that are not into playas.
Shells I learn my lesson, no more BBM. When they ask for my pin I am going to say no. You make sure to keep those men on the straight and narrow and let them know that I also do not like players.
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent post, I moved back to Trinidad from the UK where texting is a 'big thing' yet always annoyed me. My rule was the same-no texting! I will not give my PIN to anyone unless we are already (fairly) good friends. Make them work.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm a man and I don't woof. But what that guy did to you was shameful. I understand your point exactly and agree that some men are up to no good. But, let's not throw the baby out with the bath water. If men are dogs and straight women are attracted to dogs, it would make them dog lovers - but this is not the case. There's the good and the bad from box genders.
ReplyDelete